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Job Seeker's Workshop

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11. Writing to Employers

Opening Paragraphs

Look at the following opening paragraphs from letters, and explain why each person may or may not succeed in getting a follow-up interview:

Dear Mr Johnson,
I am keen on pursuing a career in office administration. I have just completed the first stage of an Office Management course and would now appreciate the opportunity to put some of the theory I've learnt into practice.

Dear Mrs Brown,
I will be leaving school soon and I was hoping to secure employment in a clerical position.
I have attached a copy of my résumé which, I am sure, shows that through my various holiday and work experience jobs, I have already learnt many skills useful to your firm.

Dear Sir/Madam,
I am 18 years old and I am looking for a job. I was wondering if you might have some vacancies coming up in the near future?

Dear Ms Smith,
I would really like to have the opportunity to discuss with you my suitability for any boilermaking apprenticeship (or similar position) you may have available within your firm in the near future.

Dear Personnel Office,
Hi. My name is Trevor Thomas and I am interested in a job with your firm. I've thought about a variety of jobs, and I think I'd like something in the computer field.

Closing Paragraphs

Which of these "closing" paragraphs from letters would you classify as "bad", "better", "best" and why do you classify them that way?
  1. "Hoping to hear from you soon."

  2. "If you'd like to interview me, I can be contacted on 64 5463 anytime."

  3. "I would like to talk further with you about my suitability for this type of work. I shall be in contact by telephone early next week to make an appointment to see you."

  4. "My résumé and references are attached."

  5. "If you'd like to interview me, I can be contacted at the above address."

  6. "I would like the opportunity to talk further with you about my suitability. Please contact me on 64 5463.

  7. "If it is possible I would like to have an interview with you. Could you please notify me of a suitable time?"

  8. "I'm really keen on making an appointment to see you. Could you let me know when?"

Is it best to just sit back and "hope" that you will get a reply, or should you be a bit pushy, and suggest that perhaps they should contact you?

Just how "pushy" do you think you can be? Is letter 3 being too pushy?

Which letter do you think would have the best effect on the person reading it?
Would this letter prompt them into replying to you fairly quickly?


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